Messing with Sweden
by PrussianPunkie
Summary: Sealand, having tailed England all the way to the American International Conference, unfortunately was exposed to an interesting activity in American culture. Or, at least, that's what he'd thought it was. When will Sweden finally blow his lid?


Author's Note: This'll probably be a two-shot, maybe a full blown story. The second chapter is in the works but there's no guarantee it'll get finished for a while.

Enjoy! :D

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><p>Messing with Sweden<p>

Sealand, having tailed England all the way to the American International Conference, unfortunately was exposed to an interesting activity in American culture. Or, at least, that's what he'd thought it was. Will Sweden Finally blow his lid on the principality? Or will Sealand get what's coming to him from someone else?

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><p>Sealand's eyes were glued to a TV set in a store window he happened to find while wandering the streets of New York. He'd followed England effectively up until the airport terminal where he'd lost sight o the British bastard and had to improvise. Luckily, he had the street address for the hotel the conference would be taking place in and he'd been dutifully trying to find his way, thank God he was in a country where English was prevalent since his only other languages were Swedish and Finnish and he wasn't very good at either of them, but then he got distracted. He'd never watched American TV before, Mama and Papa only let him turn on the TV after dinner and even that was a stretch. He'd remembered England telling him that American TV was nothing but "utter nonsense" as he liked to put it. But Sealand's opinion differed entirely.<p>

Being the pubescent boy he was, even for being a nation, he drank in every little ounce of that "utter nonsense" like a plant drinks in water after a long drought. After an hour Sealand tried to pry his attention away only for it to be caught again by a show even greater than the last. After two hours he finally was able to focus enough to get directions from a stranger passing by. And, unfortunately he made the wrong decision to look back. He was suddenly enthralled by two men in the woods pointing at some overgrown man covered in hair. One guy reached into a bag of what looked like tree bark and popped a piece into his mouth before sneaking up behind the hairy man-thing and unscrewing what looked like a huge salt shaker and running off just as the thing looked back. The thing ended up ruining his dinner with more salt than necessary and then scaring the crap out of the guys who did it. The commercial ended with the bag of "tree bark" Sealand now knew to be beef jerky. Whatever the hell that was anyway.

Since the News report was next and since it was about 11:30 and the first half of the meeting was bound to already over Sealand decided to use his spare time to think of a good prank to play on England. Though, his mind kept wandering back to that commercial…. Messing with Sasquatch huh? Sealand thought to himself. A prank as simple as unscrewing the top off someone's saltshaker seemed mundane at best. So why did he find it so funny?

Sealand's thoughts came to an abrupt halt at the sound of a familiar voice which seemed to be panicking about something.

"LAAAAAAAAAATVIIIIIIIAAAAAA!" Ah ha! This must be the place he thought as he climbed the stairs towards a lavish building. After that it wasn't very hard to find out where the nations were holding the meeting. Sealand easily spotted the large group of countries who had begun to file back into their meeting room, each complaining about something or another. Or in the Baltic nation's case trying to carry the limp form of Latvia into the room.

Sealand ducked quickly behind a large fake plant as he recognized someone who could cause trouble. Finland was talking casually with Estonia and had glimpsed a little too far over to where Sealand had been standing. The Finn stared for a moment in slight confusion before shaking his head and accompanying Estonia into the meeting room. Sealand did a fist pump in victory as he made his way over to the now closed double doors on the meeting room. They never locked them since many nations had a bad habit of showing up late, though that only encouraged them to come late even further. Sealand opened the door far enough to see through to the other side. He quickly found his target seated next to America and Germany.

Oooh. America wouldn't be tough to get by but Germany was a 'no nonsense' kind of guy. If Sealand was going to pull his prank he'd have to do it quick and effectively. He'd wait until someone made a fuss, then sneak in and put his plan into motion.

As if on cue, just then several nations began to argue. About what, Sealand didn't care, he only cared that they had every nation's eyes on them. Sealand ducked into the room and dove under the table. And since no one was in their seats anymore, he immediately lost track of where England had been sitting. Luckily enough, he saw a very familiar looking bomber jacket and he scuffled his way towards it.

"Oh for heaven's sake can we just get on with this?" Sealand could hear the nations marching back to their seats. Flying by the seat of his pants Sealand ruffled his hair and sat down in the seat on the opposite side of America, where he'd seen that no one was sitting, and hoped beyond all hope that America was as stupid as he looked.

Fortunately, he was indeed. They sat down and resumed as usual. Sitting next to America was a good idea too, it meant all eyes were focused on him being loud and obnoxious and downright irritating, and not on the obviously out of place principality next to him. Sometimes he found it hard to believe that America was a superpower in this world, though it kind of gave Sealand high hopes for his own future. Sealand snapped out of his daydreams of conquest and victory and reminded himself that he had a job to do and it wasn't going to do itself. But America and England were bickering again for the umpteenth time and Sealand was getting bored.

"I _TOLD_ you that! _Three times already_!" America said with his hands on his hips.

"Well maybe we'd understand you better if you _wouldn't talk with a __**hamburger**__ in your mouth_!" England bellowed. They went back and forth for a time and it left Sealand worried if it would ever end. That is until America said the most beautiful thing in the world.

"God, I wish I had something to throw at you!" A grin spread across Sealand's face from ear to ear as he watched the trembling, barely self-restrained, super nation's hand unclench and clench. Sealand quickly brought out his 'special jar' and tapped America on the arm. America turned, his blue eyes blazing in a rage. Sealand held out the jar and said with a wry smile: "Have at it big guy."

And that was all that was necessary.

Shouts filled the room as well as the hissing sound of the many cockroaches that covered England head to toe. Sealand was rolling on the floor, laughing his head off as the English bastard flailed around in vain trying to get them off. Sealand, and a few other nations still left in the room, watched as he span in circles and pulled them out of his shirt and kicked them off his legs before they could climb up his pants. A few of the brave nations, other than America who too was laughing his ass off, began to pick them off him one by one. Sealand's laughing had died off a little and America, who was wiping tears from his eyes, turned to him.

"Hey, not bad kid," America said with a chuckle, "not bad at all." America put his hand up and Sealand high-fived him enthusiastically. America turned back to England who was cursing him profusely in English and Latin and in a combination of both too. Sealand clapped his hands to himself. I'd say that was quite a success! He thought joyously and turned to leave. He hadn't taken three steps before he was caught by the ear.

"_OW_!" Sealand said grasping at the hand as its owner dragged him out the door.

"Ow, OW! Ok, ok, ok, I'm sorry! I won't do it again!"

"D'mn r'ght 'u 'ont." Oh CRAP. He knew that voice. Sealand definitely knew that voice. And it meant big trouble for him. Sweden dragged him down the hallway at a speed that should've been criminal when holding someone by the ear, especially when they're on their tiptoes!

"Be careful Su-san, don't hurt him!" He heard Finland's voice chime in from behind. Sealand glanced over to try and see him but instead was met with a wink and a thumbs-up from Prussia of all people. At least someone appreciated his art. He thought with a huff as he was lead by the ear all the way to Sweden's hotel room. Sweden finally released him and closed the door behind Finland who did the 'mom-thing' and examined his ear to make sure it was still attached. It was, but Sealand couldn't feel it, or the side of his face anymore.

"Sealand, how did you get here?" Finland's worried voice inquired.

"A plane." He said simply.

"You could've gotten hurt! What if someone tried to kidnap you?" Oh boy here it comes. "You're just a boy Sealand, my god I don't even want to think about what could've happened to you." Finland pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"Mama its fine, I'm ok; I got here in one piece didn't I?" Wrong thing to say. Finland grabbed the boy and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I am not your mother!" He said, though it was unconvincing since he could feel tears beginning to soak into his jacket. Sealand looked to Sweden for help but only saw his deep cerulean eyes staring at him, an apathetic look on his face.

"Oh what are we going to _do_ with you Sealand? You can't keep sneaking off to other countries on your own, and you especially can't keep harassing the other nations like this." Finland freed Sealand but kept a firm grip on his shoulders.

"Gr'nd'd." Sweden said flatly and with finality. Both Finland and Sealand turned to him inquisitively.

"What's 'gr'nd'd'?" Sealand asked making fun of his Papa's accent while he was at it; though it didn't do anything at all to help his situation.

"Groun…ded" Sweden drew out his enunciation of the word, effectively getting his point across. Sealand swore the look on his face didn't even shift in the slightest.

"Being grounded means no means of entertainment for a certain amount of time while also undergoing other punishments…. I read about it in a magazine." Finland added when he got an odd look from Sweden.

Sealand pouted openly, crossing his arms and slumping slightly where he stood. "But that sounds boooooring."

"Th'ts r'ght."

"Punishment isn't supposed to be fun! You need to learn your lesson and stop scaring us to death and embarrassing us on a regular basis." Finland said in a firm, and once again almost motherly, way.

"Not that you need _my_ help to do that." Sealand muttered under his breath. "But you guys have never "grounded" me before."

"Well your record is piling up young man, so don't start unless you want Su-san to add to your punishment." Finland waggled a finger at him, a very girly gesture for any man to do.

Sealand rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out. A swift smack to the back of his head by a monstrous sized hand made him hide his tongue quickly, less it suffer the same fate as his ear. Then he noticed a few bags of luggage already sitting by the door. Sealand pointed to the bags and asked:

"You already packed?"

"I did." Sealand glanced over at Sweden's belongings which were still strewn randomly over the room. Noticing this, Finland explained, "My flight leaves at four o'clock this afternoon. Sweden's and _yours_ leaves tomorrow morning."

"Why two flights?" Sealand asked as he plopped himself down on his father's bed. "Did they mess up the flight arrangement on you guys?" He chuckled. Leave it to Sweden and that thick accent to wind him on a different plane.

"No, my flight is going to China." Sealand's smile was a little smaller now.

"Why? Are you going to be gone long? Who's going to cook me dinner?" The panic rising in his chest as he glanced over at Sweden and the memories of the last meal he'd cooked. A shudder ran down his spine.

"Someone in China has never heard of a copyright, I have to go down there personally to sort this mess out. How long I'll be staying is undetermined and Su-san's cooking is fine."

"Not _even_! My lips were swollen for hours!"

"That's because you were smart enough to eat a wild mushroom even though we've told you not to a thousand times. The fact that the swelling started after dinner was just a coincidence." Finland said matter-of-factly, patting the boy on the head.

"Well I still don't like it." Sealand grumbled.

"Oh don't worry; Su-san will take good care of you." Finland said ruffling his hair.

Sealand looked to Sweden whose large form hung over Finland's shoulder. Whenever Sealand got into trouble, Sweden was the one who got him out of it, or had gotten him into more trouble. The big lug had a nasty habit of showing up right when Sealand needed him least, too. He'd had nothing against Sweden, until now. Now the only thing Sealand wanted to do was get back at him somehow, wipe that indifferent frown off his face and for once see him blow his top. Kind of like that commercial Sealand had seen not too long ago…

Sealand smiled mischievously at Sweden. Sweden didn't look disturbed in the slightest. Not yet at least.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed this! Please review, comments are much appreciated. :D<p> 


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